Why People Don't Want to Recover
Perhaps one of the most striking differences between anorexia and many other mental or physical illnesses is that many people with anorexia have no desire to recover from anorexia. Despite some of my hair falling out, often feeling too weak to stand up for long periods of time, and hating myself every time I ate, I so badly wanted to be skinny and I was so attached to my anorexia that I did not want to recover. Although my parents sent me to multiple therapists and nutritionists, it took me months of being told I needed to work towards recovery (and the ultimatum of not being able to go to college if I wasn't healthy) to actually want to recover.
I want to acknowledge that some people with other illnesses may attribute their creativity to their depression or be grateful for how their sickness has motivated them. However, based on my experience, I feel like anorexia is unique for the following reasons.
The effects of anorexia are often praised by others.
- Thanks to the pervasive diet culture in society today, calling someone thin or skinny is perceived as a compliment and weight loss is frequently applauded.
- Restricting one's eating and overexercising are considered socially acceptable and even complimented by friends and family.
- The connection anorexia patients feel between a low weight and receiving praise from others can lead them to see their behavior as beneficial, rather than unhealthy.
Anorexia protects you from having to deal with other negative emotions.
- During anorexia, being in constant starvation mode means that most of your thoughts are consumed by food, exercise, and body image.
- This leaves little time or energy to think about other feelings you’re having, so anorexia can numb you to other painful or negative emotions.
- Therefore, using anorexia to suppress other feelings (instead of dealing with them) can make anorexia addicting since you have to keep being anorexic, perhaps to an even stronger degree) to continue coping with your feelings.
Progress towards recovery can actually decrease motivation to continue recovering.
- In certain illnesses, making progress towards recovery can increase one’s optimism and keep pushing them towards fighting for recovery.
- However, many of the signs of progress in anorexia recovery (such as gaining weight and being able to eat more) are incredibly fearful for anorexia patients.
- While anorexia patients may want to initially recover out of fear of endangering their health, moving towards a healthy weight can reduce motivation to recover. They may feel like their health is no longer in danger so they don’t need to continue eating more, or they may be too scared of their increased food intake and higher weight to continue working towards recovery.